sadly me being born here and growing up here it was challenging to get them to lose up the culture grip they had on me they took from the struggles they faced and the tough love approach their parents used and forced me to grow up under that same pressure refusing to budge and standing by their principles and it is this notion of me not being as hungry for the so called opportunities that are in this country not really taking a liking to the education produced and taught and being more interested in sports music and other forms or art that frustrated them and ultimately causes unto clash and as a result of this didn't allow me to even approach them about may idea
to them being a loner or a doctor or some other boring ass title is what should be aiming for because obviously in Nigeria due to the system and the lack of these especially in the time they grew up it was important because of the lack of the people that actually make it and become these things
i view these jobs as straight up boring i don't want to be a doctor or a lawyer or anything like that I've worked in a hospital I've seen these peoples faces up close they don't look happy or seem like they live life happy either so ill use my frustration or being stuck in my house with my parents and there stupid tradition and lack of empathy for my ambitions and goals and desires as the foundation of this project of mine ill be expressing myself through speech and an ending poem i think no i know i am a free spirit i like to express myself through my sport speech tone of voice even my laugh i believe that is what art is about expression thought doubt and emotion being limited by my own parents is a very daunting feeling especially when they believe that they are right no matter what and that i either am too lazy to pursue these ideas and expectations of theirs or that am not smart enough i know that its neither i am purely disinterested i go by my emotion what fuels me what makes me happy what interests me film interests me music interests me art and photography interests me i would want to live my life being exactly that an artist whether it be in the form of a poet photographer videographer sound designer or producer i need to know what its like to create the things i love and share them with people i know and even people i don't so in order to this i must learn that is why am here thats why am taking this course DFSA digital film and screen ARTS
to me right now the best way to express myself that i know currently is through sound and poetry i can word it pretty well and some people who either speak to me or have heard my poems say am good with words on or the few people who i learned this form of expression from is a ma that goes by the name of George the poet i heard him on angels album called about time and it was way to fitting for me to here such a piece and fully take up this art here is some of his work
george the poet
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EoZrh_ckzaA
george watsky
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-cT8Qe7y3k
and other poets who can express themselves and also inspire other people not being typical and only talking about politics and the government to me mind maps and networks is about taking up a particular subject and finding out the root of it the path to a destination that you can see but don't hear enough of no offence at all intended but to me id rather learn about myself first and find out what i like and dislike more than how the world works its a scary place fully of people that all have their own idea of how life should work its easy to show me examples of artists but am always hearing about the same artist who hung from walls and ceilings then to me it becomes played out repetitive and boring there has to be way more artists than am shown and ill be looking into the ones i like in terms of this project ill be doing an audio piece and probably use something visual for the audience to look at or maybe a sequence of pictures that relate to my childhood and other things connected to the culture and my home discipling things like a wooden spoon old pots and so on the bible and so on and so forth
for example a wooden spoon
a belt
an old TV
these are things that molded my mind and has effected me forever along with my parents they used these items for discipline for limitation and so on all these thing will be part of my poem
Part of the poem
Culture Choke hold
Wooden spoon - the wooden rod used in discipline on the palm or your hasand it is the foundation and the signal for me in terms of what parents view in right aand wrong its also used to mix and stir fUood that also aSdds to my growth physically
Television -Talking box that stole my attention and time and imagination i went from writting stories to watching them i went from drawing characters to waiting till the clock struck and the tick in the tock ticked till a certain time so my mind was captured ironically myparents also watching this box more than i did but hated when i wanted to watch hypocrisy at its finest saying they are old enough to do so because they have lived and i haven't and how i should be focusing on my books instead of the box i was lost
These Things I highlighted brings me to the motivation behind my poetry before I could write I had a meeting with Rosie and she suggested I looked into some other artists and see how they found their place in the art world I see myself as an artist that can translate his pain and emotions through poetry I think the people Rosie offered me to look at all was able to express their different emotions in different ways
Chris Offili
to me this whole structure tells me that offili broke art ironically he designed painting to exist in a room that was bought by the tate modern and even had to be censored in 2005 him and David Adjaye created something that relates to me in so many ways that I could type for ever since this is only about my inspiration I can boldly say they gave me the confidence to do what I love believe in myself and push the envolpe and also its okay to be personal with your art
two of my personal faviotes from him are
Blossom
No Woman No Cry
I could've easily looked up each paintings meaning but I like to have my own thoughts behind it and talk about how it inspires me this guys not a poet but as an artist he's showing me that you can take something and make it your own it doesn't have to be exactly what people want cause your art is about you and allowing people to feel and take it in the way they want not looking for meaning so to me I appreciate what he does and he's influenced me in terms of self awareness and love and growth in ones self which adds to why I chose to do what I did for my mind maps in a way you could say Chris pointed the way and gave me a sense of direction
Paul McCarthey
he's the root of my choice to let out my frustration anger and every other emotion I felt out he is one of the greatest writers and song composers ever and to constantly reinvent himself and move with the different ages in pop is outstanding to me at 74 still making classics still composing music for everyone to listen to and still playing and performing all because of his dedication to his work channeling his life into his songs and working and sharing with everyone I admire and take from that
the song 4,5 seconds featuring McCarthy is a great song to me and helps almost explain what it is I go through during my time at home and waiting to get away for the weekend because the stupid amount of pressure I get put under by my parents and other people I connected with this song and it was almost like a go ahead from him in my search for inspiration and influences when writing my poem I so glad I looked McCarthy up even through in this particular song he's only featuring the message behind it is clear and I'm glad he chose two of my fav artists to contribute to the song
now as for my poem I have listed people that helped along the way different songs an items that added to my decision to write what I did but the main reason for writing this was because I had to find a way to let all of the emotions out and realise that I am only in this situation for as long as I allow myself to be if I can get over it and start doing things for myself then I can learn from the experience and move on instead of just being in it and licking my wounds the fact of the matter is no matter what happens my life is my life I have to make choices for myself my parents don't rule me they can only guide me and because of how much they love me and their own experiences they may see my stubbornness as an insult its not I have to get back out and be in my own space the first step is to cut out all the means words that are said and all the doubt and use that as fuel for my own independence when I finally get back out again I'm not getting any younger so I made the poem expressing my frustrations thoughts and anxieties that have ruled my mind for years and in writing this down and letting it out I have freed myself from my parents mind map and have begun walking and living along my own path which is why this whole project went from being about them to being about me its my art and its my life to live not theirs I have to live with that and so this poem was born
Wooden spoon - the wooden rod used in discipline on the palm or your hand it is the foundation and the signal for me in terms of what parents view in right and wrong its also used to mix and stir food that also ads to my growth physically
Television -Talking box that stole my attention and time and imagination i went from writing stories to watching them i went from drawing characters to waiting till the clock struck to have my mind fixed on the screen and my eyes stuck watching every movement of each character little did know that these toons would shape my character
The belt - leather rod it speaks for itself to unleash such a force of inconceivable pain and is the same pain that keeps me stand up and to the point and also keeps my jeans trousers and any other form of clothing locked whenever I fall f or slouch or bend in anyway still the belt remains
The house- the cage the one that contains and is a constant reminder of all of the best and worse of me all that i was and part of what i came to be in this so called house who many should call a home but isn't a place of comfort and security that i perceived it to be harsh discipline brash words and stern culture with non budging parental figure who refued to be moved by my tears screams and begging only to say i will understand one day till now u still don't i only refuse to allow it to stop me a free spirit i must be for freedom of freewill to serenade spiritual song to soothe my soul from focred fellowship and continuous prayer that i am not connected with because i don't have a choice and they say aslong as i am under their roof i am under their rules and rule my life they did but that is the past my past a page in my books chapter that i am past and shall part ways with it this poem is proof or that still i remain within these walls till POOF am gone only to show myself when the season is right so i write because i had treasures in my own vault that stayed behind i door in my life that i need to still step through
My vision is clear because i visualize myself with a lot still left to see so i float on my toes so i can tread these tremendous waters that are built with foundation of a storm that am living in with elegence and grace like jesus did praying on my knees only if feel so i can breathe now in a culture choke hold no more for i know this it exists but doesn't define me
Television -Talking box that stole my attention and time and imagination i went from writing stories to watching them i went from drawing characters to waiting till the clock struck to have my mind fixed on the screen and my eyes stuck watching every movement of each character little did know that these toons would shape my character
The belt - leather rod it speaks for itself to unleash such a force of inconceivable pain and is the same pain that keeps me stand up and to the point and also keeps my jeans trousers and any other form of clothing locked whenever I fall f or slouch or bend in anyway still the belt remains
The house- the cage the one that contains and is a constant reminder of all of the best and worse of me all that i was and part of what i came to be in this so called house who many should call a home but isn't a place of comfort and security that i perceived it to be harsh discipline brash words and stern culture with non budging parental figure who refued to be moved by my tears screams and begging only to say i will understand one day till now u still don't i only refuse to allow it to stop me a free spirit i must be for freedom of freewill to serenade spiritual song to soothe my soul from focred fellowship and continuous prayer that i am not connected with because i don't have a choice and they say aslong as i am under their roof i am under their rules and rule my life they did but that is the past my past a page in my books chapter that i am past and shall part ways with it this poem is proof or that still i remain within these walls till POOF am gone only to show myself when the season is right so i write because i had treasures in my own vault that stayed behind i door in my life that i need to still step through
My vision is clear because i visualize myself with a lot still left to see so i float on my toes so i can tread these tremendous waters that are built with foundation of a storm that am living in with elegence and grace like jesus did praying on my knees only if feel so i can breathe now in a culture choke hold no more for i know this it exists but doesn't define me
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